I never felt fearful of my birth, just very curious of what was awaiting me.

Brian and I did not take any childbirth classes throughout pregnancy, so I just watched my fair share of The Business of Being Born amongst any other birth videos or blogs I could get my hands on. I think I felt at ease though because I had Jennifer to talk with and answer, to the best of her abilities, any questions that came up.

Birth was all my sister Jennifer and I talked about during those nine months, so in some ways I felt prepared for what I might have been up against. I also had such a loving and knowledgable midwife, Lindsey Meehleis, who I whole-heartedly trusted with helping us bring a new life into this world. Thank you!

Our labor was incredible to say the least. And I say “our” because I truly feel that Evely knew exactly what she was doing even more than I did. She completely worked in sync with my body to let me know she was ready and how and when to start doing my part.

I learned a lot those nine months, but nothing can truly prepare you for what is to come once you start to feel that uncomfortable sensation down below.

On January 13th around midnight, I was woken up by a stomach ache. I headed to the bathroom, but was met with no relief. This really wasn’t a big deal since I had to pee anyway! One a.m. rolled around and again I was woken up by a stomach ache, sending me running to the bathroom. This time I actually go and start to wonder what’s going on… did I eat something that upset my stomach? Is this possibly the start of labor? I was eight days overdue at this point, so I knew she was coming any day now. I crawled back into bed and suddenly felt something. Something really uncomfortable… really it was just something that hurt. So that’s a contraction, I thought to myself.

I was always so curious during my pregnancy about what it was all going to feel like. I knew it was going to hurt unlike anything I had ever felt, but that I’d be able to get through it like all the other women who have done it before me. I knew about that good ol’ ring of fire too.

That first contraction happened and it felt like a horrible period cramp that starts, builds, and subsides, lasting around a minute. With each coming contraction, I just laid there in bed, silently and calmly breathing through each one, interrupted by a few more trips to the bathroom.

While I was googling away on my phone during each bathroom trip, I stumbled upon a blog where a laboring woman had timed her contractions through an app on her iPhone. Brilliant. I downloaded it and immediately started tracking each wave of discomfort as my body opened up. By this time it was two-thirty in the morning and the contractions were about ten to fifteen minutes apart… but very consistent in the way they felt. Painful. I could not sleep and had to concentrate real hard during each one.

Leading up to this, Brian and I had both been really sick, and I mean really sick. We both caught that flu/fever/cold thing earlier in the week, so he was passed out next to me knocked out on NyQuil. I figured I would let him sleep peacefully since I didn’t feel that there was anything at that point he could do to help me. I wanted him to be well-rested and feeling good for when it was really go time.

With me being so sick beforehand, this is another reason I believe Evely knew what she was doing. I really believe she waited until my body was in adequate condition to endure all that labor encompasses. So thank you baby girl. I felt strong and ready when you finally made your appearance.

So there I was lying quietly next to Brian charting my contractions until around six a.m. Now I figured it was time to wake him up to let him know his girl was on her way! Labor was definitely happening, this was no joke! The contractions were around four to eight minutes apart now, still lasting around a minute. I knew my sister Jennifer, who was serving as my doula, birth photographer, and saving grace, would just be getting up to coach a six a.m. CrossFit class, so I filled her in on what was happening and she immediately hopped in her car for the three hour drive down. I then texted Lindsey, my midwife, to let her know what had been going on as well. She promptly told me to try and get some sleep, eat a good breakfast, go on a walk, and try to ignore it as much as possible… that this could take a long time.

I remember reading her message over a couple times and thinking to myself, I already can’t ignore these contractions! How am I going to make it through this? I texted her back telling her they were strong and hard to ignore and asking if I was just being a big baby. I had no idea what my pain tolerance was. I had nothing to gauge it on. Were the contractions really that bad or was I just being a baby? I hoped not.

Brian and I took the dogs on a walk around the neighborhood, which lasted all of maybe ten minutes. With each contraction I had to stop walking, bend over, and breathe through it. Walking was not helping. Brian suggested we lay in bed and watch a TV show to help distract my mind from the pain. That only lasted about half an hour. I couldn’t concentrate. I decided it was time to take a shower and see if the hot water was all it was cracked up to be. And it was. It felt nice to stand with the hot water crashing down my body. Alright…sleep, not happening, walk, check, now for food. I ate an apple and then threw it up.

It was around nine a.m. now and I figured I should probably tell my mom, who was getting ready for work in the next room. For whatever reason, I just wasn’t ready to tell anyone that it was actually happening. But there was no turning back and it was here! She just about freaked out with excitement when I filled her in. She was happy to be hosting our little shindig in her bedroom, but I knew she was a little scared of the what-ifs… like what if the birth tub fell through the ceiling? But more than any of the what-ifs and fears, my mom and I were so excited to bring a new life into the world in the home that my Nana and Papa lived in. So many memories were made in that home. My Nana and Papa both passed away in the room where we were bringing new life. It was a special moment.

Once my mom and younger sister Jamie all knew what was happening, I was much more open and started to labor leaning against my parents’ bed. No more privacy. I did not care to be alone at this point, I was just trying to get through it. Now it was time to turn up that labor play list and power through this! Contractions were around four to five minutes apart now.

My sister Jennifer arrived with her camera in hand around ten a.m. and totally saved me. Her presence was comforting. She’d done this before. Three times. She knows what’s up. She got Brian to start blowing up the birth pool while she took me into the bathroom to labor in peace and quiet. She had me sit on the floor in the dark and just breathe, be alone. She timed my contractions while we both just sat there in silence. She would let me know, by counting, when I was almost through the worst of each contraction. Thank God, seriously, she was there because she not only was she able to time them for me, but she kept in contact with Lindsey updating her on the consistency of my contractions. At this point, they were around two to three minutes apart for over an hour. This meant Lindsey should be on her way.

My sister told me post birth that she wasn’t sure either of what my pain tolerance was. I looked like I was in transition, but since I had not been checked to see what I was dilated to, she wondered if I was just being a baby too or if I really was transitioning to that next level of intensity. It was crazy never being checked throughout my labor because I really did have no idea where I was at. I could be close or I could barely be dilated. At one point I thought to myself that if I was barely dilated, I truly don’t know how I could continue on for that much longer. I never thought about going to the hospital for relief, but I did think that I wouldn’t ever want to have a baby again! Funny how that changes the moment your baby comes out.

Contractions were a solid two to three minutes apart and we decided to go in the bathtub for some pain relief. Contractions are extremely uncomfortable, but they honestly were not that much worse than when they first started. There were some that hurt more than others, but for the most part, once I started labor, they were all pretty consistent. Endurance.

We all moved from the bath to my little sister’s bedroom where I laid in my towel with Brian and the pups by my side. I made it through two contractions when all of the sudden I felt a sensation that jolted my body forward. I felt something going on down there so I went to the bathroom to pee. I lost my mucus plug. Another contraction came and I swear I felt that dang ring of fire sensation that everyone talked about, accompanied by an immense amount of pressure. I think the baby is coming.

Brian, my two sisters, and mom were all crowded around me in that tiny bathroom as I sat on the toilet. This was my one quick moment of fear. My sister told me to feel down there and see what was going on, but I was scared. I don’t know what of. Maybe because the baby was coming and there was no midwife there yet! I told Jennifer to reach down and feel because I just couldn’t. (Funny how you lose all sense of modesty when you’re in labor!) Sure enough, she felt the water sac starting to bulge out like a snow globe. Jennifer had a little moment of fear too thinking she would have to help deliver this baby!

Brian immediately started to fill the birthing pool with hot water while I got in and leaned comfortably against the edge. I pretty much just started pushing immediately. I had no control. My body was doing the work and I followed along. It was twelve-thirty now. With each contraction, I felt an insane amount of pressure where I couldn’t help but push and bear down. My mom had been doing laundry all morning, washing sheets and blankets, preparing for the birth, so of course we quickly ran out of hot water a couple minutes into filling the pool. She then became in charge of running up and down the stairs with boiling pots of water.

About five minutes after getting in the pool, Lindsey’s assistant arrived and checked the baby’s heartbeat and reassured me that my body knew exactly what it was doing and to just let it happen naturally. Don’t force anything. Lindsey showed up a few minutes later and was right there to encourage me. She was my other calming and relaxed presence. She was so mellow and brought a lightheartedness to the room which made me feel safe. Brian joined me in the birthing tub and sat behind me to be there for any support I needed. Thank you, Brian for listening to all the crazy and gross birth talk that Jennifer and I do and diving into this home birth thing with full force. You are my rock and I’m so grateful we both got to be so connected and close while bringing our daughter into the world.

 

With each coming contraction I would bear down in a deep squat, leaning forward against the edge of the pool with my face buried in a towel. It was an interesting sensation. Much different than the contractions earlier. They were uncomfortable, but not painful… almost like a feeling of relief. The end was now in sight.

I pushed for about forty minutes, while my mom ran up and down the stairs for hot water. Just as she left the room, the water sac broke and Evely’s head came flying out. Lindsey quickly yelled down at my mom, who was mid step down the stairs, that the baby was coming! Once her head came out, it felt like only a moment passed until I lifted her up out of the water and onto my chest. There she was! I caught my own baby.

My sister Jamie told me the first thing I said was ‘she’s so cute!’ My mom said it was like deja vu, like seeing me be born again since she looked so much like me, a head full of hair.

What an incredible feeling to finally meet this precious, beautiful thing that you’ve been growing inside your belly for the last nine months. It was amazing. I sunk back into Brian’s lap as we just stared in awe of our beautiful daughter. Pure bliss. Pure joy. God is beyond good.

We moved over to my parents bed to birth the placenta and then get stitched up. We kept the cord attached and waited for it to stop pulsing so Brian could cut it. Evely latched on pretty easily and quickly, so we just laid there and enjoyed each other amidst everyone around us.

Once my placenta came out, I started to lose a lot of blood. And I mean a lot. There’s pictures my sister took. Puddles. Lindsey was so calm, but you could sense her stern attitude when telling her assistant to get some shots ready for me. I was hemorrhaging. They gave me two shots in my thigh to help stop the bleeding and the second one did the trick. I was totally feeling fine during all this and I think Lindsey’s calm demeanor made everything seem like not a big deal in my eyes. She was on it. She massaged my belly and my uterus eventually firmed up and the bleeding subsided. All was good. She stitched me up real quick and then everyone came in the room to meet the new bundle of joy! All eight pounds and nine ounces of her!

A few hours passed and it was time for that first after birth pee. Since I had lost a fair amount of blood and was as pale as a ghost, Lindsey warned Brian and Jennifer that there was a chance I could pass out, so to be prepared. With assistance, I made my way to the bathroom and peed. Lindsey kept asking me how I was feeling every few seconds. I felt fine. Once I got up though, it was game over. My vision started to get spotty and it was hard to get a deep breath. I kept trying to sit back down, but Lindsey knew what was happening and was trying to get me back to the bed as quickly as possible. I passed out. Obviously I did not see it happen, but I am told Lindsey was a super human who dove under me and got me onto that bed before hitting the floor. They say it was a crazy sight. I remember opening my eyes and seeing the assistant midwife above me with water saying dayna, dayna. I was so confused when I woke up. Wherever I was during that ten seconds of being passed out, it felt real and I was confused to find myself lying in bed with these people. After that, I totally felt fine and we resumed visiting with guests. I was on a total birth high and nothing could bring me down.

Birth is such a cool thing. Actually, it’s more than cool. It’s amazing. A miracle. God totally created us to be able to do it. He knew what He was doing. Our bodies are so perfectly crafted to create and give life. I am so incredibly blessed to have had such a great experience. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I seriously can’t wait to do it again. I know I will have moments of doubting my ability to do it and endure the pain, but I will come out on the other side with a beautiful new life in my arms.