Maeve
Such a special feeling comes with looking down at a positive pregnancy test. And when I woke up early Father’s Day morning, I longed for that feeling again. Peeing on a stick wasn’t foreign to me, but it still surprised me seeing two lines immediately pop up. I quietly snuck back into bed to share the news with Brian, who got to find out he'd be a father to two on his special day.
At thirty-six weeks along, we visited our midwife for a routine check up. Lindsey’s hands were gently pressing my stomach, her eyes half-closed, feeling for the small outline of our baby girl. Lasting a few moments longer than usual, I could sense as her fingers began to push deeper into my skin that something was not quite right. She began to tell us in a calm voice that there was nothing to worry about. The baby was perfectly fine, but she was facing the wrong way, head up and legs down, a position known as breech. Lindsey’s hands tried to get her to turn, but with no success. She sent me to the chiropractor next door for an adjustment, telling me to come back in a week to see if she changed position.
After a week of very intentional lunges and stretching, I returned to her office hopeful for some good news. But the baby had not moved. Lindsey brought in one of the other midwives to our room to help her try and flip the baby around. They sent Evely out to the waiting room to play with the baby dolls and trainsets, knowing that the feeling in the room was about to build in intensity. The women worked my belly, prodding and guiding her little baby body for what felt like a while as I was lying there, sweating, fighting back a slight nausea. In my mind, all hope seemed lost, and I questioned what our new birth plan would look like if she stayed breech.
Just as they were about to call it quits, she suddenly started to turn and completely flip positions! There was so much joy and relief in that moment. We all felt it.
I'm so thankful for knowledgeable midwives who truly care about their clients. This is their life's work, and to feel secure in knowing you're not just another client, but a friend, is the greatest feeling. It lets you be vulnerable and truly trust in your body to do what's best. And I also know that even if they were not able to get our girl in the correct position, Lindsey would have provided me with the next best option to have the safest birth possible.
She stayed in the correct position and engaged so low that Lindsey laughed when feeling for her at my thirty-eight week appointment. She joked that she could practically feel her head in my pubic region. In my mind I assumed there was no way this girl would be making it another two full weeks!
But birth is unpredictable.
As forty weeks rolled around we found ourselves back at Lindsey's office for our hopefully last prenatal appointment. She immediately asked if I wanted to see how dilated I was. She had never checked me for dilation during my previous pregnancy, so I welcomed the knowledge of knowing where my body had progressed so far.
As she felt for the thinning of my cervix and where the baby was situated, she started laughing to her assistant Mel, saying I was an extremely dilated five centimeters and ninety percent effaced. Already halfway there without any signs of labor had me feeling pretty good and completely surprised!
We then decided to strip my membranes, which was an unfamiliar decision to be making. Even though this intervention was very minimal, it was still moving things along with a little help so to speak. With Evely, we waited it out eight days past our “due date” and let things unfold naturally. I was overcome with excitement though as this could possibly mean we'd be meeting our girl soon, and when you're 40 weeks pregnant, that is the best sounding thing ever!
Lindsey gently used her fingers to sweep away the water sac from the side of my uterus, releasing the natural hormones that bring upon labor. It felt like a period cramp, meaning my uterus was starting to contract! Brian and I left the appointment excited thinking that tonight we'd get to meet our baby girl.
Earlier that morning, we had packed our family into the car, our dogs in the back and our suitcases and inflatable birthing pool strapped to the roof. Brian had to work out of L.A. for the week so we left San Diego for my parents’ home in Cypress. Several weeks leading up to this point, I felt so torn between having the baby at our home or having her at my parents house, but since Evely was born at my parents house, the feelings that surrounded us were familiar and welcoming. After our appointment, we were soon greeted by a house full of family which had me feeling so excited for everyone to be involved in this experience again!
Brian and I spent the evening walking around the neighborhood as we watched Evely and her cousins run around, squatting periodically to open things up. I was starting to lose my mucus plug and feel some added pressure, but there were no contractions yet.
The sunlight peeked in on Sunday morning and all was the same. No contractions, no baby. Brian left for the first day of his work conference and was sure to keep his phone extra close for any updates. I got to spend the day with my mom and Evely as we shopped for last minute baby items and did lots of walking. I started to feel some contractions here and there, but they didn't stay consistent.
After putting Evely to bed that night, I snapped a photo of her sleeping, instinctively thinking it might be the last night with just her. Thoughts raced through my mind. Conflicted with the desire to be in our own space, our own home, but also desiring the fullness of my extended family. My parents and siblings. As much as I had hoped our daughter would come before loading our life into the car and making the drive up, I fully accepted and felt grateful of our current situation and dozed off to sleep hoping to meet our baby soon.
Around four in the morning, I started feeling a familiar pressure, tight and uncomfortable. Coming in waves, the pressure would build in strength, hold, and suddenly leave. Although mild compared to the start of labor with Evely, these were definitely real contractions! I clocked them at around fifteen minutes apart, getting a bit closer together with every few waves.
Brian's alarm went off at six and he did his routine morning check up on me, peeking his head up from his pillow… "everything okay?!" He had been asking me this almost every morning the last couple of weeks. And it was this leap day morning that I finally got to answer, "It's happening!"
Evely woke up shortly after and I took her downstairs to get some food. I noticed the contractions spreading out, so I decided to have Brian take over so I could go back in bed and be alone.
I sent text messages to my sister, who was taking photos, and our midwife Lindsey letting them know my contractions were pretty consistent. Since morning traffic was approaching, they both decided to head on over, expecting this to be a fast and furious labor.
It brings me happiness being around those I love and I really don't like to miss out on experiences with them. Well, my own birth was no exception! There were a lot of people around throughout the day. My husband and two year old daughter, my sisters, my nieces and nephews, my mother, and our midwives. And I tried to be a part of all the hanging out and the conversations, when I probably should have been alone, knowing well that these distractions were seeming to slow everything down.
With Evely, my contractions were intense from the start. By the time Lindsey had arrived I was already pushing, and Evely was in my arms within thirty minutes. But this time around, things were very different. Much slower. Much mellower. I felt bad that everyone had to “wait around” for me all day. But, there is a certain comfort that comes with being somewhere familiar. Lindsey grew up with my family, so as I looked out at everyone happily chatting and making themselves at home, it warmed my heart and helped me to relax. As much as I felt “bad” for everyone that this labor was not fast and furious, I knew that it didn't matter and everyone was there to support me, no matter how long it took to get this baby out!
As the afternoon approached and my contractions were still not growing any closer (they stayed around 8 minutes apart for a long time) Lindsey checked to see what I was dilated to. To everyone’s surprise, and especially mine, I was an eight or nine and fully effaced! I was feeling pretty discouraged that my body wasn't being as efficient as I had imagined, so to hear that it was in fact doing its job well and with minimal discomfort was great! My sister, having recently given birth to her fourth kid at home, gave me an especially hard time for having it so “easy”.
We filled the birth tub and I labored in the warm water to see if that would speed things up. The tub felt warm and relaxing but was not making anything progress. My contractions were not getting any closer together and were rarely very strong.
Second babies are supposed to be faster, right? The idea that this labor would be faster had become an anchor in my mind much of my pregnancy. As I faced the reality that this labor wasn’t going to be what I expected, I felt that anxiousness build.
My bag of water was practically bulging and the baby was very low, but she seemed to be taking her time making her appearance.
Lindsey gave us the option of popping my water sac, which would most likely take things to the next level. Initially, I felt uncertain about intervening. I questioned why it wasn't happening on its own. And how come my body instinctively did its job so well the first time around. In my previous experience, I labored until I literally felt the urge to bear down because she was coming out. I never had to be told to push. So the idea of breaking my water scared me a little.
Brian and I decided to give it one more hour and keep laboring in the tub.
Not much progress was made, so we went ahead and popped that strong, bulging bag of water!
My next contraction was on a whole new level. These were what I remembered from before! These are the contractions that make you say, "eh I don't know if I want to do this again.” Maybe a handful of contractions passed until I suddenly felt her crowning. I shouted to everyone "I think she's coming out! I feel the burning!" They all laughed with me, not surprised that she was coming! Oh man, that ring of fire. It is so incredibly intense, but so easily forgettable.
With one strong contraction, she slowly made her way out. I did not push. First her head. Then we sat and waited a few moments for the next contraction and the rest of her body slid out. Lindsey quickly unwrapped the short cord that was around her neck as I brought our tiny blonde baby up to my chest! After ten months of carrying her inside my belly and day dreaming of who she'd be, I finally got to look our beautiful, vernix-covered daughter in the eyes! And what a surprise she was! Fair skinned, almost blonde, and barely any hair made her completely opposite of her sister! Perfectly unique and perfectly created, my heart grew so much bigger that afternoon.
With a little over thirteen hours since my first contraction and barely twenty minutes of actual active, hard labor, Maeve Frances was earthside at 5:19 PM.
While waiting for the placenta to come out, Lindsey kept a watchful eye on my bleeding. With Evely I had hemorrhaged after birthing the placenta. As my body released the placentia, we were thankful to find that my bleeding was very normal this time around. That was definitely my biggest concern all pregnancy and to know that it wasn't bound to happen to me after each birth had me feeling relieved.
We brought Evely into the bedroom and sat together for the first time as a family of four! I had envisioned Evely being much more involved in the birthing process, but once those strong waves started, I needed to be in my own head and space, free of any distractions. So to finally have her sitting there with us was a sweet moment I will never forget.
The rest of our families were eagerly awaiting downstairs and they all got to come in while Brian cut the cord and Lindsey did all the post birth measurements. She was our little peanut weighing in at 7 pounds 7 ounces. One whole pound and two ounces less than her big sister!
It was not until a couple of weeks before she was born that we had an idea for her name. We tossed around so many throughout the months, but nothing felt right. When we heard Maeve, it clicked. But we wanted to wait until she was here to truly decide if it was the one. She was pale and fair, her Irish features perfectly matching her Irish name.
Maeve Frances Coords born on Leap Day, February 29, 2016 at 5:19 PM.
Throughout my pregnancy, we had joked around about the idea of having a leap year baby and how cool that would be. As we drew closer to the due date, I had a feeling that she really would be born on leap day since it fell on a Monday and her big sister was also born on a Monday.
I could not be any more grateful for the two birth experiences I have had. Both so incredibly different, but equally beautiful. I feel so passionate about birth and I want people to see and understand how amazing it can be! Birth is truly one of the hardest things a woman will do. It takes everything from you, but immediately you are filled back up and then some once your child is in your arms.
I am thankful that I could have a healthy, low-risk birth. I am thankful for a birth that did not need to feel rushed, but instead peaceful. A birth that did not need to feel medical, but instead natural. A birth that did not need to feel scary, but instead invigorating. When you have those that you trust in your sacred space, birth can be the most incredible experience.
Thank you to my friend and midwife Lindsey Meehleis. You have been my source of comfort and my security. You make me feel safe. I could not imagine my girls being born without you and cannot wait to do it again!
